South Park - Butters' Bottom Girl

South Park returned for another new episode with season 13, episode 9 titled Butters Bottom Girl and the show took on ACORN and turned perennial looser Butters into the big man on campus with hilarious results.It starts off with all the boys hassling poor young Butters Stotch in the school yard because he has never kissed a girl.As he is hanging from a pole by his underwear, a student runs over and reveals that one of the girls is selling kisses behind a building for $5, Butters realizes this is his big opportunity.After paying his money and getting his kiss, Butters is now a man in the eyes of his friends and as he goes home, he starts feeling the pressure of manhood and all the added responsibility.He decides it's time to get a job.With the realization that boys will pay for kisses, Butters realizes that there is money to be made and starts to drum up business for the girl in exchange for a cut of the money.It isn't long before he starts to recruit more girls and is soon bringing in some big money.Butters is really into the industry and after some online research, he finds out that he is a pimp and his girl is the worker which the girls have no problem with.To further his research, he heads to a pimp conference to pick up some tips and takes lots of notes as businessmen from all over the country give him advice on how to play the game.Soon Butters is making big money and has a growing stable of girls while also annoying his friends as he tries to get their girlfriends into the business and is angry they are giving kisses away for free.At this point he has adult prostitutes working for him as well and thinks the thousands of dollars they make a day is all from $5 kisses.Butters takes a trip to ACORN for tax advice and housing loans, they turn him away at first, but then it turns out the supervisor is a customer.Meanwhile the South Park cops are cracking down on prostitution in one of the funniest sting operations ever.A male cop dresses up as a female hooker and is so dedicated to the job, there is nothing he will not do for the job.Even if it means taking on a whole Fraternity.As the cops close in on Butters, he realizes that paying for kisses doesn't really make him a man and he learns his lesson for this really funny episode.

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Halloween Costumes For Two

Okay, you and your significant other have been invited to a grown-up Halloween party and have no clue what to wear.Here are some great coordinated costume ideas for two.Lucy and Ricky Ricardo (I Love Lucy).Lucy wears red wig and 50's style dress.Ricky slicks hair back and wears suit and tie.Goes around saying, "Lucy, I'm Home.".White Trash Wedding.Bride wears tacky old wedding dress, tacky veil and carries gaudy bouquet.Groom wears overalls, flannel shirt (or no shirt) and blacked-out tooth.Groom dresses up his outfit by wearing a bow tie and a gaudy boutonniere with his overalls.Sonny and Cher.Both wear long wigs, bell-bottoms, vests (furry is good), bright colors, lots of jewelry (peace symbols, etc.).Sonny carries guitar.Cher carries tambourine and wears fake eyelashes and lots of eye liner.Morticia and Gomez Addams (The Addams Family).Of course, both wear all black gothic clothing.Morticia wears long, black wig, long, flowing dress and carries roses with no blooms.Gomez slicks hair back, wears mustache and black suit.Kisses up Morticia's arm and speaks romantic French to her.Barbie and G.I.Joe.Barbie wears long, bouncy wig and high fashion.At some point, she takes her shoes off and walks around on tippy toes (remember how her feet are made for high heels only).Don't forget - it's all about the accessories! G.I.Joe wears all camouflage army uniform and helmet and carries toy rifle.Vampire and Victim.Guy dresses in vampire costume with blood running out of the corner of his mouth.Girl has two dots (bite marks) on neck and blood dripping down.He chases her around all night saying, "I vant to suck your blood.".Hugh Hefner and Playboy Bunny.Guy dresses in pajamas and satin robe and smokes pipe.Girl dresses in playboy bunny costume complete with fluffy tail, bunny ears and bow tie.Race Car Driver and Pit Crew Girl.Guy wears jump suit and helmet or ball cap with decals all over, sunglasses or goggles.Girl wears satin baseball jacket with decals, mini skirt or short shorts, boots and baseball cap.Gilligan and Ginger or Mary Ann (Gilligan's Island).Guy wears white fishing hat, red polo shirt, white pants and boat shoes.Mary Ann wears pigtails with ribbons, red check button up shirt tied at waist and cutoff denim short shorts.Ginger wears evening gown, long glamorous hair and lots of makeup.Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne.Guy wears black clothes, tattoos, long wig, lots of jewelry, round glasses.Girl wears short auburn hair and dresses in pant suit.Have a great time.Get out there and play like a kid again - you're never too old!

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A Deeper Look at "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"

The Story Line.The Whos are preparing for their Christmas celebration.They're obsessed with buying, giving, getting and decorating.Right from the start Cindy Lou, about 8 years old, observes all this activity and asks her father if it's"right." He brushes her off and says that this is how Whoville celebrates Christmas.During all these busy preparations, the Grinch comes down disguised as one of the Whos.Cindy Lou meets him.When everyone realizes he's been there, they act terrified.Cindy Lou begins to feel sorry for the Grinch; she's determined to learn more about him.She interviews the two older ladies who adopted him when he was a baby.She interviews the Mayor of Whoville.And, she interviews Martha Mae, the girl he liked in grade school.Cindy Lou comes to realize that the other kids at school mocked him, made fun of him and ridiculed him.And, so the Grinch left.He went up the mountain, outfitted a cave and has been there all these years.Every year Whoville elects a Cheermeister to lead the Christmas Whobilation.The mayor wants that honor but Cindy Lou nominates the Grinch.Everyone agrees.She goes up the mountain to invite him.He decides to accept the honor and goes down to the celebration.Once there, the Whoville people are so over-excited, they frantically dress him, feed him, pull, push and shove him.He tries to stop them and actually says, "Stop, too much, too soon." They pay no attention; he becomes angry and destroys the whole town's Christmas.Little did he know that they had "spares" of everything, which they quickly brought out and put up.The Grinch cannot stand the situation.He goes down again secretly on Christmas Eve night and steals everything; he wants to "teach them a lesson." He takes everything back up to his mountain and is going to destroy it when he suddenly hears singing."What?" he thinks.And, shock of shocks.The Grinch realizes that the people of Whoville now know that Christmas is not about buying, getting, giving or decorating.It's about family and friends gathering together and loving each other.It's about feeling content and grateful for what they each have.It's about peace and true "good will" among all.When the Grinch realizes what has happened, he decides to return all of the things he stole to the Whoville people.He does that and finds, a real bonus, that Martha Mae is in love with him.They all have a huge Christmas meal and everything ends happily.Definitely my kind of movie.Now, A Deeper Look.There are quite a few deeper ideas in this movie.But here, we'll deal with the three most important ones.1.The Grinch withdrew from Whoville because his feelings were hurt.Why? His classmates made fun of him.Instead of accepting and including the Grinch even though he was different, the other kids at school mocked and humiliated him.He was so hurt that he shut down his feelings and decided never to feel them again; he thought, forevermore.He withdrew from the town, built his home in a cave on the mountain and he stayed there alone.The Grinch has been angry and bitter ever since.We see him now as the adult Grinch.He's in such a rage and so distrusts anyone from Whoville that he not only shields himself in his cave, but he also scares anyone from Whoville whenever he can.The Grinch is a master at revenge; he has everything it takes. motivation, energy, help (from his dog) and best of all, he's smart!Gosh, we see that bullying the weaker or different ones in Whoville was a common thing back then, just like it is today in our schools and businesses.Nothing much has changed because people who are bullied today feel the same way the Grinch did. they hurt, they don't understand why they're treated badly but they're very clear that they're different, don't fit in and are purposely being shut out.Cindy Lou first meets the Grinch when he comes down to Whoville to cause some trouble.Again, why would he do that, she wonders.He's really disgusted with the Whoville people precisely because they emphasize the craziness of the holiday season. they shop, shop and decorate, decorate.He just wants to wipe out the whole thing.In fact, he says, "Avarice, the avarice never ends.That's what it's all about.The Christmas season is stupid." He goes absolutely crazy and ruins Christmas all over town.2.Enter Cindy Lou, a Pleasing personality, is great at caring for others.She has deep feelings, like the Grinch, and also, like him, she's troubled by all the commercialism about Christmas in Whoville.By now she also realizes that long ago the Grinch was treated badly.So, hoping to cheer him up, she nominates him for the Whoville Cheermeister; he's elected.(One of the great moments in the story is when Cindy Lou nominates the Grinch, she is challenged not only by the mayor but also by other Whos in high power.She stands up to them, showing a lot of courage).Cindy Lou is delighted and hopeful that the Grinch will want to join the community again.She goes up the mountain to ask him to come to the Christmas Whobilation and be the Cheermaster.Even though the Grinch is not kind to her, her caring for him never wavers.Later, even as the Grinch is stealing all of her family's Christmas, Cindy Lou's Pleasing care-taking continues.She mistakenly thinks the Grinch is Santa Claus and she urges him to remember to leave a gift for her friend, the Grinch.*** People who have the Pleasing personality always feel sorry for those who are being mistreated and are hurting.People who have the Pleasing personality always take care of those they care about.And, people with the Pleasing personality never want to believe that others are bad.Cindy Lou certainly fits this description.3.On Christmas morning when the Grinch hears the singing from the town, he says, shocked, "It came; it came! Maybe Christmas means a little bit more." As he says the words, he's realizing that the Whos are having Christmas as they should without all the "stuff." They realize that having each other is more than enough.Then something truly wonderful happens to the Grinch.His heart, which had shrunk to practically nothing, grew and grew and grew in those moments; it grew three sizes right then.Right then, the Grinch had an attack of "feeling." And, he cried.It's such a sweet moment when the Grinch says to Max, "I'm all toasty inside and I'm leaking." The Grinch tells Max that he loves him; Max goes nuts and overwhelms the Grinch with kisses.To which the Grinch says, "That's enough, that's enough, one step at a time." He's still not quite ready for intimate expression.After he realizes that Cindy Lou has come up the mountain to get him, saying, "No one should be alone on Christmas," the Grinch returns everything to Whoville, joins in the celebration.His small heart is not only "not dead," but re-blooms that day.Yes, the Grinch's outer world changed radically Christmas day; the Whoville people welcomed him and he rejoined them.But, the Grinch's inner world, which is by far the more important, changes radically as well.He understands that hearts can soften and hurts can heal.If you're looking for a good, light Christmas movie choose The Grinch.If you're looking for a "great" movie, choose The Grinch.Just be sure to take The Deeper Look.Thanks for stopping by in this busy, busy season, and.I hope you and yours have a wonderful holiday season.Warmest regards until next time,.Joan.

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South Park - Butters' Bottom Girl

South Park returned for another new episode with season 13, episode 9 titled Butters Bottom Girl and the show took on ACORN and turned perennial looser Butters into the big man on campus with hilarious results.It starts off with all the boys hassling poor young Butters Stotch in the school yard because he has never kissed a girl.As he is hanging from a pole by his underwear, a student runs over and reveals that one of the girls is selling kisses behind a building for $5, Butters realizes this is his big opportunity.After paying his money and getting his kiss, Butters is now a man in the eyes of his friends and as he goes home, he starts feeling the pressure of manhood and all the added responsibility.He decides it's time to get a job.With the realization that boys will pay for kisses, Butters realizes that there is money to be made and starts to drum up business for the girl in exchange for a cut of the money.It isn't long before he starts to recruit more girls and is soon bringing in some big money.Butters is really into the industry and after some online research, he finds out that he is a pimp and his girl is the worker which the girls have no problem with.To further his research, he heads to a pimp conference to pick up some tips and takes lots of notes as businessmen from all over the country give him advice on how to play the game.Soon Butters is making big money and has a growing stable of girls while also annoying his friends as he tries to get their girlfriends into the business and is angry they are giving kisses away for free.At this point he has adult prostitutes working for him as well and thinks the thousands of dollars they make a day is all from $5 kisses.Butters takes a trip to ACORN for tax advice and housing loans, they turn him away at first, but then it turns out the supervisor is a customer.Meanwhile the South Park cops are cracking down on prostitution in one of the funniest sting operations ever.A male cop dresses up as a female hooker and is so dedicated to the job, there is nothing he will not do for the job.Even if it means taking on a whole Fraternity.As the cops close in on Butters, he realizes that paying for kisses doesn't really make him a man and he learns his lesson for this really funny episode.

More detail about Vampire Kisses 8

South Park - Butters' Bottom Girl

South Park returned for another new episode with season 13, episode 9 titled Butters Bottom Girl and the show took on ACORN and turned perennial looser Butters into the big man on campus with hilarious results.It starts off with all the boys hassling poor young Butters Stotch in the school yard because he has never kissed a girl.As he is hanging from a pole by his underwear, a student runs over and reveals that one of the girls is selling kisses behind a building for $5, Butters realizes this is his big opportunity.After paying his money and getting his kiss, Butters is now a man in the eyes of his friends and as he goes home, he starts feeling the pressure of manhood and all the added responsibility.He decides it's time to get a job.With the realization that boys will pay for kisses, Butters realizes that there is money to be made and starts to drum up business for the girl in exchange for a cut of the money.It isn't long before he starts to recruit more girls and is soon bringing in some big money.Butters is really into the industry and after some online research, he finds out that he is a pimp and his girl is the worker which the girls have no problem with.To further his research, he heads to a pimp conference to pick up some tips and takes lots of notes as businessmen from all over the country give him advice on how to play the game.Soon Butters is making big money and has a growing stable of girls while also annoying his friends as he tries to get their girlfriends into the business and is angry they are giving kisses away for free.At this point he has adult prostitutes working for him as well and thinks the thousands of dollars they make a day is all from $5 kisses.Butters takes a trip to ACORN for tax advice and housing loans, they turn him away at first, but then it turns out the supervisor is a customer.Meanwhile the South Park cops are cracking down on prostitution in one of the funniest sting operations ever.A male cop dresses up as a female hooker and is so dedicated to the job, there is nothing he will not do for the job.Even if it means taking on a whole Fraternity.As the cops close in on Butters, he realizes that paying for kisses doesn't really make him a man and he learns his lesson for this really funny episode.

More detail about Vampire Kisses 8

Halloween Costumes For Two

Okay, you and your significant other have been invited to a grown-up Halloween party and have no clue what to wear.Here are some great coordinated costume ideas for two.Lucy and Ricky Ricardo (I Love Lucy).Lucy wears red wig and 50's style dress.Ricky slicks hair back and wears suit and tie.Goes around saying, "Lucy, I'm Home.".White Trash Wedding.Bride wears tacky old wedding dress, tacky veil and carries gaudy bouquet.Groom wears overalls, flannel shirt (or no shirt) and blacked-out tooth.Groom dresses up his outfit by wearing a bow tie and a gaudy boutonniere with his overalls.Sonny and Cher.Both wear long wigs, bell-bottoms, vests (furry is good), bright colors, lots of jewelry (peace symbols, etc.).Sonny carries guitar.Cher carries tambourine and wears fake eyelashes and lots of eye liner.Morticia and Gomez Addams (The Addams Family).Of course, both wear all black gothic clothing.Morticia wears long, black wig, long, flowing dress and carries roses with no blooms.Gomez slicks hair back, wears mustache and black suit.Kisses up Morticia's arm and speaks romantic French to her.Barbie and G.I.Joe.Barbie wears long, bouncy wig and high fashion.At some point, she takes her shoes off and walks around on tippy toes (remember how her feet are made for high heels only).Don't forget - it's all about the accessories! G.I.Joe wears all camouflage army uniform and helmet and carries toy rifle.Vampire and Victim.Guy dresses in vampire costume with blood running out of the corner of his mouth.Girl has two dots (bite marks) on neck and blood dripping down.He chases her around all night saying, "I vant to suck your blood.".Hugh Hefner and Playboy Bunny.Guy dresses in pajamas and satin robe and smokes pipe.Girl dresses in playboy bunny costume complete with fluffy tail, bunny ears and bow tie.Race Car Driver and Pit Crew Girl.Guy wears jump suit and helmet or ball cap with decals all over, sunglasses or goggles.Girl wears satin baseball jacket with decals, mini skirt or short shorts, boots and baseball cap.Gilligan and Ginger or Mary Ann (Gilligan's Island).Guy wears white fishing hat, red polo shirt, white pants and boat shoes.Mary Ann wears pigtails with ribbons, red check button up shirt tied at waist and cutoff denim short shorts.Ginger wears evening gown, long glamorous hair and lots of makeup.Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne.Guy wears black clothes, tattoos, long wig, lots of jewelry, round glasses.Girl wears short auburn hair and dresses in pant suit.Have a great time.Get out there and play like a kid again - you're never too old!

More detail about Vampire Kisses 8

Halloween Costumes For Two

Okay, you and your significant other have been invited to a grown-up Halloween party and have no clue what to wear.Here are some great coordinated costume ideas for two.Lucy and Ricky Ricardo (I Love Lucy).Lucy wears red wig and 50's style dress.Ricky slicks hair back and wears suit and tie.Goes around saying, "Lucy, I'm Home.".White Trash Wedding.Bride wears tacky old wedding dress, tacky veil and carries gaudy bouquet.Groom wears overalls, flannel shirt (or no shirt) and blacked-out tooth.Groom dresses up his outfit by wearing a bow tie and a gaudy boutonniere with his overalls.Sonny and Cher.Both wear long wigs, bell-bottoms, vests (furry is good), bright colors, lots of jewelry (peace symbols, etc.).Sonny carries guitar.Cher carries tambourine and wears fake eyelashes and lots of eye liner.Morticia and Gomez Addams (The Addams Family).Of course, both wear all black gothic clothing.Morticia wears long, black wig, long, flowing dress and carries roses with no blooms.Gomez slicks hair back, wears mustache and black suit.Kisses up Morticia's arm and speaks romantic French to her.Barbie and G.I.Joe.Barbie wears long, bouncy wig and high fashion.At some point, she takes her shoes off and walks around on tippy toes (remember how her feet are made for high heels only).Don't forget - it's all about the accessories! G.I.Joe wears all camouflage army uniform and helmet and carries toy rifle.Vampire and Victim.Guy dresses in vampire costume with blood running out of the corner of his mouth.Girl has two dots (bite marks) on neck and blood dripping down.He chases her around all night saying, "I vant to suck your blood.".Hugh Hefner and Playboy Bunny.Guy dresses in pajamas and satin robe and smokes pipe.Girl dresses in playboy bunny costume complete with fluffy tail, bunny ears and bow tie.Race Car Driver and Pit Crew Girl.Guy wears jump suit and helmet or ball cap with decals all over, sunglasses or goggles.Girl wears satin baseball jacket with decals, mini skirt or short shorts, boots and baseball cap.Gilligan and Ginger or Mary Ann (Gilligan's Island).Guy wears white fishing hat, red polo shirt, white pants and boat shoes.Mary Ann wears pigtails with ribbons, red check button up shirt tied at waist and cutoff denim short shorts.Ginger wears evening gown, long glamorous hair and lots of makeup.Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne.Guy wears black clothes, tattoos, long wig, lots of jewelry, round glasses.Girl wears short auburn hair and dresses in pant suit.Have a great time.Get out there and play like a kid again - you're never too old!

More detail about Vampire Kisses 8

South Park - Butters' Bottom Girl

South Park returned for another new episode with season 13, episode 9 titled Butters Bottom Girl and the show took on ACORN and turned perennial looser Butters into the big man on campus with hilarious results.It starts off with all the boys hassling poor young Butters Stotch in the school yard because he has never kissed a girl.As he is hanging from a pole by his underwear, a student runs over and reveals that one of the girls is selling kisses behind a building for $5, Butters realizes this is his big opportunity.After paying his money and getting his kiss, Butters is now a man in the eyes of his friends and as he goes home, he starts feeling the pressure of manhood and all the added responsibility.He decides it's time to get a job.With the realization that boys will pay for kisses, Butters realizes that there is money to be made and starts to drum up business for the girl in exchange for a cut of the money.It isn't long before he starts to recruit more girls and is soon bringing in some big money.Butters is really into the industry and after some online research, he finds out that he is a pimp and his girl is the worker which the girls have no problem with.To further his research, he heads to a pimp conference to pick up some tips and takes lots of notes as businessmen from all over the country give him advice on how to play the game.Soon Butters is making big money and has a growing stable of girls while also annoying his friends as he tries to get their girlfriends into the business and is angry they are giving kisses away for free.At this point he has adult prostitutes working for him as well and thinks the thousands of dollars they make a day is all from $5 kisses.Butters takes a trip to ACORN for tax advice and housing loans, they turn him away at first, but then it turns out the supervisor is a customer.Meanwhile the South Park cops are cracking down on prostitution in one of the funniest sting operations ever.A male cop dresses up as a female hooker and is so dedicated to the job, there is nothing he will not do for the job.Even if it means taking on a whole Fraternity.As the cops close in on Butters, he realizes that paying for kisses doesn't really make him a man and he learns his lesson for this really funny episode.

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Diagnosed As Crazy

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Top 10 Romantic Movies

Have you ever found yourself wandering the isles of your local video store, searching for a romantic movie to watch with your partner.But came up short?You know exactly what you want to see.Something romantic.Something funny.Something breathtaking.But your left standing there without the slightest idea of which romantic movie to pick.Well, here's something that should help.Here's a list of my top 10 romantic movies, (they are also very popular titles) and a brief description of what they are about.These are my top 10 picks, hopefully you will enjoy them as well.#1 The Notebook (2004) - This is a story of two young lovers (Allie and Noah) who are from two completely different upbringings.Allie's family is quite wealthy and disapproves of Noah because of his lack of wealth.So her parents move her away and make every attempt to never let her see him again.#2 Ghost (1990) - This movie is about a couple (Sam and Molly) who are deeply in love.While walking through an alley one night they are mugged, and Sam is murdered.Sam is left on the earth as a ghost.He soon realizes that his murder was no accident, and he must worn Molly of the danger she is in.#3 A Walk To Remember (2002) - Landon Carter, the most popular guy in school, gets into some trouble, and ends up crossing paths with Jamie Sulivan, the school outcast.As he gets to know her, Landon finds himself falling for Jamie.#4 Pearl Harbor (2001) - This follows the story of two best friends who are fighter pilots, in the time of the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor.Caught up in the events of the war and both end up finding themselves in love with the same woman.#5 Titanic (1997) - This is a story of the romance between two young lovers, during their days on the Titanic.#6 Casablanca (1942) - This is an old classic love story, set during World War II, about refugees trying to make their way over to America.#7 Grease (1978) - The "coolest" guy in school, fell in love with a "good girl" over the summer holidays.Now that school is in, they have to realize what is truly important if they want to be together.#8 Dirty Dancing (1987) - Set in the 60's, a family takes a vacation to a resort hotel in the mountains.One of the teenage daughters attends a summer camp and learns how to dance from the camp's dance instructor.She ends up falling in love with him, against her father's wishes.#9 Pretty Woman (1990) - Edward is a rich and sophisticated businessman.Vivian is a Los Angeles prostitute struggling with her lifestyle and has a hard time paying the rent.On a business trip to Los Angeles, Edward hires Vivian to be his girlfriend for a week while he visits the local social circles.Love and complications complicate their arrangement and have the pair wondering if their story could a happy ending.#10 Breakfast At Tiffany's (1961) - Holly lives alone in her nearly bare New York City apartment.She is a socialite who enjoys going to elite parties, going on expensive dates and wearing the most perfect of designer clothes.Her carefree independence is changed when she meets her neighbor, Paul, who is an aspiring writer.Whether these are movies you have never seen, or have simply forgotten about over the years, they will make great company for you the next time you are snuggling up with your sweetheart!

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The Top 10 Best Vampire Book Series

Not too long ago Anne Rice was the queen of vampire fiction with her creation of the legendary Lestat.However, in the past few years Stephenie Meyer with her Twilight Saga, Charlaine Harris with True Blood, and other authors with their vampire creations have stormed the best seller charts.But what are the most popular series with the legions of online vamp lit fans?The top ten most popular (based on online chatter) vampire book series are..10.Riley Jensen Guardian by Keri Arthur.9.Anita Blake Vampire Hunter by Laurell K.Hamilton.8.The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice.7.The Morganville Vampires by Rachel Caine.6.Vampire Kisses by Ellen Schreiber.5.The Darren Shan Saga by Darren Shan.4.Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead.3.The House of Night by P.C.Cast and Kristin Cast.2.The Southern Vampire Mysteries / Sookie Stackhouse Novels / True Blood Series by Charlaine Harris.And the most popular Vampire Lit Series is no surprise.1.The Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer.Not quite making the top ten were Night Huntress by Jeaniene Frost, Vampire Diaries by L.J.Smith, Undead and .By MaryJanice Davidson, Blue Bloods by Melissa de la Cruz, Vampire Beach by Alex Duval, Night World by L.J.Smith, Nikki and Michael by Keri Arthur, Mackenzie Vampires by Nina Bangs, and Almost Human by Melanie Nowak.The top two series on this list have also been adapted for the screen, with the wildly popular Twilight Saga movies and True Blood television series on HBO.This can have only helped their dominance in this poll.While great literature does not need to be adapted for the screen, it will clearly raise awareness of a series and bring in a whole new group of fans.A Darren Shan motion picture (Cirque du Freak. The Vampire's Assistant) will be released in late 2009.Both House of Night and Vampire Academy films or TV adaptations are almost inevitable, although neither seem to be even close to production.If the new CW Network TV series based on L.J.Smith's Vampire Diaries is a hit, then those novels are bound to be in the top ten for my next vamp lit poll.And, finally, it is lovely to see that modern vampire literature icon and pioneer Anne Rice made the list, even if she was not in the top five.Oddly, only two of Anne Rice's novels (Interview with the Vampire and The Queen of the Damned) were ever turned into feature films.I compiled this list by searching for each of the vampire book series on a number of search engines and ranking them by the number of web pages, discussion forums, photos, videos, etc that are available online.

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The Ten Best Romance eBooks of 2009

Of all the GLBT romance and erotica e-books I read in 2009, these were my favorites.Please note that this list reflects my own, highly subjective opinion and is not an official list from any website or organization.10.Nights in Pink Satin by Sharon Maria Bidwell.In another lifetime, Vincent was known as Count Dracula.In modern London, as he prepares for his annual vampire cotillion, Vincent becomes intrigued by a bolt of fuscia-pink satin, and obsessed with finding out who would want to line a coffin with such an extravagant fabric.The answer leads him to some surprising truths about himself in this offbeat paranormal romance.9.Queer Hauntings by Ken Summers.In my hometown is the Truman's Entertainment Complex, consisting of two linked GLBT bars, one a sports bar and one a dance club.Did you ever stop to consider there may be gay, lesbian, bisexual and transsexual spirits, as well as the heterosexual ghosts we typically hear about from the ghost hunters? That is the topic of the nonfiction book Queer Hauntings.If you love ghost stories at all, you'll find it fascinating, from the famous ghosts (Liberace is said to haunt the restaurant he once owned, for example) to ordinary people and couples whose lives were cut tragically short.8.The Dandelion Clock by Jay Mandel.The Dandelion Clock by Jay Mandal is a sweet romance novel.Its main characters just happen to be two men, David and Rob, English guys in the 1980s.In this very realistic character study, 20-something David pines for 19-year-old Rob, but will Rob ever even notice?7.Agency of Extraordinary Mates. Finding Magic by Kate Douglas.I've enjoyed Kate Douglas's spicy novels for years, and this book was no exception.It's fun, and the reader will certainly find magic!6.I Kissed a Girl, edited by Regina Perry.Inspired by Katy Perry's pop tune, the twelve short stories in this anthology crackle with tension.In each tale, a woman kisses another woman for the first time.Sometimes, her boyfriend doesn't mind it.Others are purely Sapphic imaginings, with nary a Y-chromosome in sight.All are passion-inspiring; some are beautifully told stories in their own "write.".5.Secretly Bound by Jade.Jade and her wife Jessica live in the Netherlands with their young son.Jessica desperately wants to have another child, but she's having trouble getting pregnant again.Jessica's increasing disappoint creates a rift between them, leading Jade down a dangerous path.She seeks to ease her loneliness by flirting with a woman she meets on an online social network.What follows is a tense blend of romance, sensuality, and action.Fans of Anais Nin will appreciate the way Jade (the author) weaves the story of Henry and June into her narrative.4.Other Magical Creatures, edited by M.Rode.OMC is a collection of steamy, long short stories/short novellas with paranormal characters.There's a weretiger, an artist who sells his soul to a demon, a couple of witches, a handful of werewolves, an ancient Greek god reincarnated as a bartender!3.Samhain's Embrace by Jesse Fox.If you have any interest in Celtic mythology, you will find it a fascinating little volume.It's a contemporary story, set in modern times.Bran has lost the love of his life to a brutal murder.And only a shadowy figure from the world of ancient gods and goddesses can make him feel alive again.2.Up For Grabs, edited by Lauren P.Burka.If your reading tastes are a bit quirky, if you're an open-minded reader, and if you enjoy the premise of "What if?".Then Up For Grabs, edited by Lauren P.Burka (Circlet Press) is just the book for you.In these five delicious tales, gender is up for grabs, and science pushes the boundaries between male and female, natural and unnatural.1.Sappho Sings by Peggy Ullman Bell.I rarely give a novel five stars, but I was tremendously impressed with the quality of storytelling in Sappho Sings, a fictionalized biography of the ancient Greek poet by Peggy Ullman Bell.Whether or not you are familiar with Sappho's timeless verse, this book brings history to life, and is a rolicking good romance as well!

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Black Swan - Review

If you want to watch "Black Swan", be ready for one heck of a psycho sexual scary drama.It is dark and artistic cinema, crafted with almost perfection by director Darren Aronofsky.It shows hallucinations suffered by a young dancer in an effort to achieve artistic perfection.Natalie Portman stars as Nina Sayers, who is a dancer in New York City Ballet Company.She lives with her mother Erica (Barbara Hershey).The director of company, Thomas Leroy (Vincent Cassel), has to cast a new lead dancer who can portray both the innocent White Swan and her evil, dark, sensual twin the Black Swan.She gets her big break as she is cast in the lead role of ballet Swan Lake.Nina is perfect as the white swan but she is not quite the wicked Black Swan.When Nina goes to the director, Thomas, for request of lead role, he refuses.When he forcefully kisses her she bites him and with that bite he sees potential in Nina for portraying the Black Swan.Nina tries hard portraying the Black Swan but Thomas is extremely critical of Nina's fragile dance movements.Nina carries the insecurity that she will lose that role and other girls (especially Lilly) are trying hard to take that role away from her.She suffers from various psychological traumas.One evening, Lilly takes her out to party.Lilly gives Nina drugs which initially she rejects but then takes later on.She makes sex with two guys in the bar.When she comes home she has fight with her mother and later hallucinates having sex with Lilly.Next morning, she reaches at rehearsal late.She sees Lilly playing Swan Queen in her absence.She becomes furious at her.Her psychological trauma and hallucinations continue the day before opening of the ballet.Her mother calls and tells the company that she is ill and cannot perform.She again, becomes violent with her mother and leaves the house.She finds that Thomas has cast Lilly as the Swan Queen; she convinces Thomas that she is fine for the role.She performs act of the white Swan perfectly until she suffers a hallucination and falls down.She goes back depressed in her make up room for next act where she finds Lilly making fun of her.She fights with Lilly and kills her with a mirror; she hides her dead body and prepares herself for the role.She delivers a perfect, fearless and wicked performance of the Black Swan.When she comes back to her make up room for preparation of the last act as the white Swan she finds that killing Lilly was a hallucination but broken mirror was still there and she also has a wound in her stomach.She gives another great performance as the White Swan.The crowd gives a standing ovation to her and chants her name.Thomas and other see her wound and in the end she is seen dying but with pride of being perfect.The film is unsettling, shocking, terrifying and brave; sex scenes are the scariest.It boasts of great performances from nearly everyone.It is truly Natalie Portman's film; she delivers throughout with her eyes saying it all.Vincent Cassel is perfect as the director of the ballet who is extremely commanding and has sexual desires for the girls in the company.The director, Darren Aronofsky, has indeed created a modern day classic.

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Naughty Fantasies of Women (It is the Time to Beat the Heat by Fulfilling Her Naughty Fantasies)

In this big world, men are thrown into the arena of women without any preparation.Men believe in seeking approval or respect from women in order to spend quality time with them, but this belief is not longer true today.So when it comes to sexuality, you need to know that, you can loose the intimate electricity with women by seeking approval of them because most of the naughty fantasies of women include a masculine man who can express his sexual power for beating their heat.In relationship, your passive sexual believes or actions can throw women into despair.You need to ease their pressure and give them time to think about who they are as human, emotional and sexual person.A woman will do everything in her power to keep you happy if once you give her sexual and emotional freedom and beat the heat by fulfilling her naughty fantasies.Top Secret Naughty Fantasies Of Women.It would be misleading to tell you that women have only romantic fantasies.They have so wild sexual fantasies that you can not even imagine.Women can be far more sexual than men if you understand them on emotional level.Each and every one of us has our own special and unique sexual fantasies.Women have also shifted their wild sexual imaginations over the years.They are now much more sexual and want men to fulfill the inner naughty desires of them.Naturally, most of the men generally assume that they just have to fulfill the fantasies of women once.This assumption of men is wrong because women need a man who can not only fulfill their naughty fantasies but also make them feel lovable, worthy and special on constant basis.You need to beat their inner destructive bitch with your rough masculine love making sessions.Now, it is the time to know about inner bitchy desires of women.Naughty Fantasy no.1. DOMINATED BY A POWERFUL MASTER.In wild imaginations, women mostly think about some powerful stranger as their master.It can be a muscular man, vampire or rapist.You might be surprised to know that some women even fantasize about being fucked by a lion.They think about a man who pull them by hairs and make them feel like a naughty bitch.In addition, they want their master to force himself upon them and make them beg for their lives.This type of sexual violence increases the excitement inside women which throws them into the sexual orbits.Unleash the wild erotic side of you and break the boundaries with your masculinity.Order her to take off clothes and pose naked for you.Treat her like your slave.Let her feel that your wild masculinity can get her on knees and make her hurt.There is nothing like a rough chivalry in love making moments for women.Slip your tongue in and out of her mouth forcefully in wild sex sessions.She loves to feel you ravishing her as a powerful master who do not respect and make her fear with his monstrous erect cock without the polarity.You need to ravish her violently from behind, spank her hard, suck her nipples badly, nibble her neck and make her feel that she can be killed as your naughty slave.If you dominate her as a powerful master, who is not longer present today in relationships, then this will make her a human being.Women find master men irresistible because they are capable of fulfilling erotic daydreams of them.A powerful master always makes women feel worthy and let them know who they truly are.Naughty Fantasy No.2. LESBIAN LOVEMAKING.The versatility and flexibility of lesbian lovemaking highly attracts women.Lesbians are grateful for what they already have.In other words, they know that how to exactly have fun whenever they want.After all, lesbians satisfy and please their partners sexually in every love making sessions.The most exciting thing about lesbians is they do not care about status thing.Even a rich woman loves to have erotic moments with her maid.No matter how rough a day, this deep erotic mentality of lesbians keeps them on toes all the time.They know exactly that how to warm their beds by making their partner feel lovable and naughty.Let's jump right into the secrets of lesbians.The thought of being with other woman sexually always turns women on.Studies reveal that lesbians always create a soothing and warm atmosphere before erotic love making sessions.So there should always be warmness in your acts, kisses and foreplay.One of the most pleasant things you can do is to sit beside her while her watching TV.Wind your arm around her waist or take her in your lap.In fact, a woman finds herself on a beautiful island when she is in the lap of her man.Begin by rubbing her arms and smelling her neck.Also, let her feel the erotic silence inside the room.Ultimately, these erotic casual moves will get her arouse.Fondle her breast while sucking her cheeks and jaw for making atmosphere highly stimulating.Make her feel your masculine sexual urges by pressing her thighs.Pull her bra down and start sucking her nipples in erotic way while pressing her thighs.At this moment, she will be moaning and wriggling in your lap.Now start kissing her lips for a very long time because French kissing is the best way to bring sexual energy inside women.Rub her body against you and light the fire in the atmosphere by kissing her passionately.Keep your focus on pleasure, fun and intimacy.These sensual moments will not only fulfill her naughty fantasies but also increase your chances of becoming her sexual god.

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American Candy - Celebrate Halloween the American Way

The Halloween tradition of costumed children knocking on neighbours' doors and calling out "trick or treat?" is relatively new to the UK.Until a couple of decades ago, at the end of every October and beginning of November British children were more likely to be found on busy high streets with a home-made life-sized dummy of a man - often stuffed into a pram or a trolley - asking shoppers for "a penny for the Guy" (Guy, of course, being Guy Fawkes, whose effigy is traditionally burnt on bonfires on 5th November, as a punishment for almost blowing up the Houses of Parliament in the 17th century).The pennies collected would usually be given to parents who would buy fireworks, to be set off on Bonfire Night.However, in recent years the Halloween festival, celebrated the American way, has become increasingly popular in Britain, and 'penny for the Guy' has all but disappeared.Halloween parties and evening door-knocking by miniature witches, goblins and vampires have become norms that give children something to look forward to when the nights start drawing in, and which give supermarkets an excuse to stock up on bumper packs of sweets for 'victims' to hand out to trick-or-treaters.But with British children having such fun with a very American tradition, we think it would be a lovely idea to give trick-or-treaters American candy, helping children to have an authentic American Halloween.Here's a selection of our favourite American candy which would be perfect for handing out to trick-or-treaters.Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.Fondant chocolate cups filled with peanut butter, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are an all-American classic.There are three Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in each pack.Reese's Pieces.Tasty peanut butter in crispy, crunchy candy shells - absolutely delicious, Reese's Pieces come in 43g bags and are perfect for handing out to trick-or-treaters, though you may be tempted to eat a few yourself!Hershey's.Hershey's Cookies n Creme is a white chocolate bar which contains chocolate cookie bits - so it's crunchy and chocolatey at the same time.Alternatively, there's Hershey's Chocolate n Creme, which is made of milk chocolate instead of white chocolate.Hershey's Whatchamacallit is a peanut flavoured crisp candy topped with a layer of caramel and dipped in chocolate - and its name is pretty unforgettable! Or if you're expecting a lot of little horrors knocking on your door, there's Hershey's Miniatures.In this 150g bag you'll find a bite sized selection of classic American chocolate, including Hershey's Milk Chocolate, Hershey's Krackel with milk chocolate and crisped rice, Hershey's Special Dark and Hershey's Mr Goodbar with creamy chocolate and crunchy peanuts.Other classic Hershey's products include Milk Duds - delicious milk chocolate covered caramel candies - and Hershey's Kisses, which have an unusual shape and come in individually foil wrapped pieces, so they're perfect for trick-or-treaters.Oreo Cookies.Oreo cookies are the classic American sandwich biscuit, and the 'proper' way to eat them is to twist, lick and dunk - apparently! Oreo Cookies are two chocolate flavoured biscuits sandwiched together with a delicious vanilla flavoured filling.One box of Oreo Cookies contains 16 biscuits - so there's plenty to go round, even if you get a huge troupe of little horrors knocking on your door!Oreo's also come in bags of miniature-sized pieces, which are the perfect size for smaller mouths.Cracker Jacks.Cracker Jacks are little boxes of caramel coated popcorn and peanuts, and they're a true American classic which have been around for over a hundred years.Cracker Jacks are famous for the tiny prizes concealed in each box, and for appearing in the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's.Each pack contains three 28g boxes of Cracker Jacks.Fruit Gushers.A box of Fruit Gushers contains six 25g pouches of these delicious little chewy sweets that ooze a watermelon flavoured liquid when you bite into them.Is your mouth watering yet?Candy Corn.If you're only going to give out one type of American candy to your trick-or-treaters, then it has to be Candy Corn - it's the traditional American Halloween treat.These little bite-sized pieces of candy are shaped to resemble corn kernels, and no Halloween candy collection would be complete without them!

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American Candy - Celebrate Halloween the American Way

The Halloween tradition of costumed children knocking on neighbours' doors and calling out "trick or treat?" is relatively new to the UK.Until a couple of decades ago, at the end of every October and beginning of November British children were more likely to be found on busy high streets with a home-made life-sized dummy of a man - often stuffed into a pram or a trolley - asking shoppers for "a penny for the Guy" (Guy, of course, being Guy Fawkes, whose effigy is traditionally burnt on bonfires on 5th November, as a punishment for almost blowing up the Houses of Parliament in the 17th century).The pennies collected would usually be given to parents who would buy fireworks, to be set off on Bonfire Night.However, in recent years the Halloween festival, celebrated the American way, has become increasingly popular in Britain, and 'penny for the Guy' has all but disappeared.Halloween parties and evening door-knocking by miniature witches, goblins and vampires have become norms that give children something to look forward to when the nights start drawing in, and which give supermarkets an excuse to stock up on bumper packs of sweets for 'victims' to hand out to trick-or-treaters.But with British children having such fun with a very American tradition, we think it would be a lovely idea to give trick-or-treaters American candy, helping children to have an authentic American Halloween.Here's a selection of our favourite American candy which would be perfect for handing out to trick-or-treaters.Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.Fondant chocolate cups filled with peanut butter, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are an all-American classic.There are three Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in each pack.Reese's Pieces.Tasty peanut butter in crispy, crunchy candy shells - absolutely delicious, Reese's Pieces come in 43g bags and are perfect for handing out to trick-or-treaters, though you may be tempted to eat a few yourself!Hershey's.Hershey's Cookies n Creme is a white chocolate bar which contains chocolate cookie bits - so it's crunchy and chocolatey at the same time.Alternatively, there's Hershey's Chocolate n Creme, which is made of milk chocolate instead of white chocolate.Hershey's Whatchamacallit is a peanut flavoured crisp candy topped with a layer of caramel and dipped in chocolate - and its name is pretty unforgettable! Or if you're expecting a lot of little horrors knocking on your door, there's Hershey's Miniatures.In this 150g bag you'll find a bite sized selection of classic American chocolate, including Hershey's Milk Chocolate, Hershey's Krackel with milk chocolate and crisped rice, Hershey's Special Dark and Hershey's Mr Goodbar with creamy chocolate and crunchy peanuts.Other classic Hershey's products include Milk Duds - delicious milk chocolate covered caramel candies - and Hershey's Kisses, which have an unusual shape and come in individually foil wrapped pieces, so they're perfect for trick-or-treaters.Oreo Cookies.Oreo cookies are the classic American sandwich biscuit, and the 'proper' way to eat them is to twist, lick and dunk - apparently! Oreo Cookies are two chocolate flavoured biscuits sandwiched together with a delicious vanilla flavoured filling.One box of Oreo Cookies contains 16 biscuits - so there's plenty to go round, even if you get a huge troupe of little horrors knocking on your door!Oreo's also come in bags of miniature-sized pieces, which are the perfect size for smaller mouths.Cracker Jacks.Cracker Jacks are little boxes of caramel coated popcorn and peanuts, and they're a true American classic which have been around for over a hundred years.Cracker Jacks are famous for the tiny prizes concealed in each box, and for appearing in the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's.Each pack contains three 28g boxes of Cracker Jacks.Fruit Gushers.A box of Fruit Gushers contains six 25g pouches of these delicious little chewy sweets that ooze a watermelon flavoured liquid when you bite into them.Is your mouth watering yet?Candy Corn.If you're only going to give out one type of American candy to your trick-or-treaters, then it has to be Candy Corn - it's the traditional American Halloween treat.These little bite-sized pieces of candy are shaped to resemble corn kernels, and no Halloween candy collection would be complete without them!

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Pick Up Chicks - Vampire Style

With all the movies, television shows and books it is obvious that women really dig the vampire.So why can't we apply that to dating? Well, we can! Now I am not talking about going Goth and smearing a bunch of make up all over your face and crying about how no one cares.What I do think is that there is a consistent "attitude" in many of the portrayals of vampire guys in the media that can be emulated.How do vampires get girls so easily.Calm and confident.You rarely hear a vampire yell.They usually speak in low confident tones and seem very sure of themselves.Exactly what I would recommend for you in trying to attract girls.Vampires love foreplay.Vampires do not just jump in to get in the girls pants.They tease and tantalize.Lots of light kisses and nibbling on the neck, I would not recommend the "opening the jugular "part for you guys, though.Loners.They go their own way and listen to no one but themselves.Vampires are strong.Both physically and mentally.They are natural "Alpha Males" walking into a room full of confidence and assurance.Vampires pick up girls because they are good at it, they practice every night!Dress.Despite all the above mentioned Goth wannabes.All the vampires I have seen on TV and the movies have been well dressed with fashionable and often fairly conservative, clothes.Moody.No girl likes a guy who is the same all the time.Always follow her around and give her what she wants and she will abuse you and get bored.In Vampire style, they go off in moody tangents, giving the girls something that they have to work to overcome.Romance.Vampires have it in spades.They sweep girls off their feet on dark and romantic nights.They are always expert dancers and have great lines.But since they are gone half the time (sleeping in day) it does not get to be too needy.They plant the seed of romance and give women time alone to want them to return.Great plan!How can we emulate the Vampire to pick up chicks.

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Halloween Costumes For Two

Okay, you and your significant other have been invited to a grown-up Halloween party and have no clue what to wear.Here are some great coordinated costume ideas for two.Lucy and Ricky Ricardo (I Love Lucy).Lucy wears red wig and 50's style dress.Ricky slicks hair back and wears suit and tie.Goes around saying, "Lucy, I'm Home.".White Trash Wedding.Bride wears tacky old wedding dress, tacky veil and carries gaudy bouquet.Groom wears overalls, flannel shirt (or no shirt) and blacked-out tooth.Groom dresses up his outfit by wearing a bow tie and a gaudy boutonniere with his overalls.Sonny and Cher.Both wear long wigs, bell-bottoms, vests (furry is good), bright colors, lots of jewelry (peace symbols, etc.).Sonny carries guitar.Cher carries tambourine and wears fake eyelashes and lots of eye liner.Morticia and Gomez Addams (The Addams Family).Of course, both wear all black gothic clothing.Morticia wears long, black wig, long, flowing dress and carries roses with no blooms.Gomez slicks hair back, wears mustache and black suit.Kisses up Morticia's arm and speaks romantic French to her.Barbie and G.I.Joe.Barbie wears long, bouncy wig and high fashion.At some point, she takes her shoes off and walks around on tippy toes (remember how her feet are made for high heels only).Don't forget - it's all about the accessories! G.I.Joe wears all camouflage army uniform and helmet and carries toy rifle.Vampire and Victim.Guy dresses in vampire costume with blood running out of the corner of his mouth.Girl has two dots (bite marks) on neck and blood dripping down.He chases her around all night saying, "I vant to suck your blood.".Hugh Hefner and Playboy Bunny.Guy dresses in pajamas and satin robe and smokes pipe.Girl dresses in playboy bunny costume complete with fluffy tail, bunny ears and bow tie.Race Car Driver and Pit Crew Girl.Guy wears jump suit and helmet or ball cap with decals all over, sunglasses or goggles.Girl wears satin baseball jacket with decals, mini skirt or short shorts, boots and baseball cap.Gilligan and Ginger or Mary Ann (Gilligan's Island).Guy wears white fishing hat, red polo shirt, white pants and boat shoes.Mary Ann wears pigtails with ribbons, red check button up shirt tied at waist and cutoff denim short shorts.Ginger wears evening gown, long glamorous hair and lots of makeup.Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne.Guy wears black clothes, tattoos, long wig, lots of jewelry, round glasses.Girl wears short auburn hair and dresses in pant suit.Have a great time.Get out there and play like a kid again - you're never too old!

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Diagnosed As Crazy

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Top 10 Worst Kisses

Ahhh, the first kiss.What a wonderful moment! Something to fantasize about when you are deeply in like with someone.I sit and daydream about him slowly moving in and smiling, and I close my eyes and imagine him gently pushing his lips against mine.Then rewind and replay, until I have thoroughly plotted out the entire event.And, when the moment arrives, and he slowly moves in and smiles, I start to close my eyes, then pause, because I want to see this movie moment in action, and find myself .Ducking and screaming because I'm being attacked by dragon face, he's coming straight at me, lips curled and tongue protruding, and I wasn't even prepared.Could there be anything worse than a bad kisser? At my age this is completely unacceptable! Hasn't there been a partner, sometime in their dating history, who liked them enough to say, "Hey, you're not so good at the whole kissing thing, let me teach you how"? I have come across a number of bad kissers; it's not an isolated incident, and what do you do; besides politely wipe the slobber from your face and excuse yourself, escape route in mind? I think it's time to start talking about it, if I was a bad kisser I'd want help improving, so lets discuss the top 10 kissing offenses we are guilty of, in no particular order..Offense #1..Dragon Face.I start with the dragon face, because it is a newly acquired kissing mishap in my life.And the mental image still gives me the heebie jeebies! This poor man went in for this kiss, at a particularly awkward moment, with his lips curled back in a lizard-esque smile, his tongue pointing out of his mouth, the tip wiggling at me as if to say, "Hello baby, here I come." I didn't want to be rude, so I pulled away, smiled, and said I needed to go home.I couldn't kiss Dragon Face guy, I just couldn't! This inept style of kissing was frightening, and kissing should never invoke fear.Offense #2..The slobberobbergus.You know the guy who manages to hit every spot on your face with his tongue other than your lips.It's like he closes his eyes and his directionally challenged tongue is going on an expedition of your face, destination. mouth, never to be found.And when you pull away, wondering if there is any reminisce of makeup left, he is slyly grinning at you, as if he has just opened you up to a new experience.And he has, you now know what a small child feels like when the big St.Bernard won't quit licking its face, and you get the urge to cry as well.Offense #3..The Bird Beak.This is characterized by a hard tongue shape, moving in a rapid manner inside of the mouth of kissing partner, usually in a back and fourth motion.The tongue is not meant to be a ridged body part.Its purpose is soft, and gentle and probing.Not stiff, and abrasive, and thrusting.There are other body parts which can be appropriately used for those activities, don't let your tongue steal their thunder.(Thanks Suzy!).Offense #4..Just eaten/bad breath.Now this is just rude! Behavior of this nature is not due to bad technique or nervousness; this is simply bad manners at their finest.You NEVER put food in your mouth, chew, and then move in for a kiss (I added chew as my disclaimer for the ever-so-seductive sharing of the food maneuver, which is totally acceptable when done correctly).But partially masticated food should not be shared between partners, it's just gross! Garlic, onions and cigerettes, oh my! Remember, if it tastes funky to you, it will to your kissing accomplice as well.Offense #5..The black hole.This is another universally experienced bad kiss.When you look up and see a wide open mouth coming at you, a spacious span between top teeth and bottom teeth, and the fear of being consumed by this approaching black hole mixed with a sadistic curiosity of what you'd find if you stuck your head in there and explored overwhelms you; you know you've been a victim of the black hole.The only hope you have to turn and run before you're devoured.Offense #6..The soul sucker.He slowly moves in and smiles, and he gently presses his lips to yours, and then you suddenly feel as if you've entered a void and all air is being extracted from your body at a rate faster than you can replace it.And as you fight to retain ownership of your soul, which is slowly being removed from your body, you struggle to detach from this vacummous power.Take a deep breath, and possibly refrain from the second kiss.Offense #7..The teeth fighter.Yes, teeth are in the mouth, and sometimes we all get a little excited and there is a minor fender-bender.When this is a constant occurrence, there is a definite problem! The teeth fighter feels their deadly weapon is actually a turn on, and proceeds to hit you with their teeth numerous times in varied ways.Eventually, you find yourself bleeding with a fat lip, and a not so great memory of the kiss.(Thanks Liz!).Offense #8..Scab chin.This is the guy who kisses with such ferocity of chin movement, mixed with the small grouping of pubic hair on his face, that minor chafage occurs.The next day you have a dry spot resembling a scab on your chin which hurts when you talk.Girls, it's ok, we've all been there.Wear your scab proudly, especially if he was cute, but remember this make-out-war-wound, and try to steer clear of the chin action in your next canoodling session.Offense #9..The Marathon Kisser.Kissing is a wonderful and fun activity, and I understand the desire to never want to stop; but reality check, breathing is an essential part to sustaining life! We all need to do it.WARNING. occupation in lip locking for over 20 minutes can cause minor birth defects, brain damage from lack of oxygen, and a really sore tongue.Give it a break, take a breath, start off slow, and leave your smooching rival wanting more.This is not a race to the finish, unless you want to be finished.(Thanks Tammi!).Offense #10..Tonsil Hockey.No, this is not a real sport, and your tongue does not belong down my throat! This type of behavior is most often distinguished by a feeling of your stomach contents being searched, and nervousness over the onions you ate for dinner the night before.You never know, they could be discovered.On a serious note. there is an imaginary line drawn between the last molars in any persons mouth with a little sign that says, "Do not cross go, do not collect another kiss from me." So if last kiss is the goal, by all means, forge ahead; otherwise politely backup and continue you exploration.Are there any kissing experiences you'd like to add to the list?

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